ALL HEART: Open

Morgan Nowakowski finished her redshirt-freshman season hitting .319 to rank third on the team. Her eight doubles ranked second.

With baby blue and purple ribbons that tell a story all of their own raining out from beneath the back of Morgan Nowakowski's softball helmet, the Jacksonville State redshirt freshman walked to the batter's box in the sixth inning of an emotional ASUN Conference tournament game May 10 against Austin Peay.

In a game that APSU led most of the way, Nowakowski watched from the on-deck circle. JSU had finally moved on top by a single run, and with the bases loaded, there remained a chance for a bigger margin.

After a half-practice swing, she dropped the head of the bat to clang against her right cleat, stepped in the box, made a swipe across the dirt to the left, and then a swipe to the right. A routine.

Still, there was nothing routine about Nowakowski's path to this apex of a moment.

Heart defect

Eleven months earlier, the former Buckhorn High School standout was nearly 900 miles north of her New Market hometown at the renowned Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., undergoing open-heart surgery.

A return to full health was the primary goal. Finding her way back to competing in Division I softball would have to settle as a secondary objective.

Nowakowski was born with a congenital heart defect known as Ebstein anomaly, a rare heart condition in which the tricuspid valve is in the wrong position, and the valve's leaflets, or flaps within the valve, are malformed. As a result, the valve does not work properly, allowing blood to flow to incorrect areas of the heart. Congenital heart defects occur when people are born with structural abnormalities of the heart or blood vessels involving the heart.

Surgery and other medical interventions are often required to address these issues. With developing research, it is believed now that one in 150 people in the United States has some form of congenital heart defect ranging from mild to severe. Ebstein anomaly defects make up less than one percent of all congenital heart disorders, with Boston Children's Hospital estimating that just one in 10,000 children are born with the complex condition.

Without appropriately positioned and functioning leaflets, blood can leak back through the tricuspid valve causing among other things, the heart to work less efficiently, be in danger of enlargement or failure and feed oxygen-poor blood back to the lungs.

Her family learned of her condition at birth. The third child and second daughter to Shannon and Daren Nowakowski, she had three ablation procedures.

The operations were serious, though less invasive than open heart. They took place shortly after birth and again at ages 7 and 10. Although monitored with annual cardiologist check-ups, the full extent of Nowakowski's disorder appeared to go unnoticed, considering her otherwise strong physical health. Never able to keep up endurance-wise with other children, Nowakowski's athletic focus zeroed in on softball at an early age with the constant running of soccer and basketball not an option. The softball selection was a good one as she quickly rose to be one of the top talents in the area.

Morgan Nowakowski gets ready for Jacksonville State versus Georgia State on Wednesday, March 29, 2023.

Aiming for JSU

New Market sits a leisurely two-and-a-half-hour drive north of Jacksonville State University. It was there where the wheels of fate began to turn when 10- or 11-year-old Morgan experienced the Gamecock family atmosphere for the first time at a youth team summer camp hosted by JSU.

"I came with my whole team," Nowakowski recalled years later. "And I told my dad after we left that I wanted to come to JSU."

It was a lofty goal. Softball coach Jana McGinnis, the namesake of the field where she has led the program for more than 30 years, had been winning conference championships at Jax State since before Nowakowski was born. A softball power within the southeastern region, McGinnis’ Gamecocks competed in eight NCAA tournament regionals just while Nowakowski was in grade school. Still, the two remained on a collision course.

While JSU blistered the competition in the Ohio Valley Conference, Nowakowski was collecting hardware of her own while leading Buckhorn to the 2019 Class 6A state championship her sophomore year, earning Most Valuable Player honors.

"We would even have recruiters come to our team and help us get recruited and any time anyone asked me where I wanted to go, I would say, ‘JSU, that's my number one school. I want to go there,’" Nowakowski said.

She took recruiting visits to other schools to see her options, but the mindset never changed. When she eventually got that offer by phone from Jax State during her junior season, she accepted, making it official.

Fast forward to the fall of 2021 as Nowakowski and the rest of her freshman class enrolled and began their journey at JSU. While all first-timers away from home have their own struggles, Nowakowski's lingering symptoms grew stronger. She felt fatigued frequently to the point of fighting to stay awake for classes during the day. Just weeks after meeting her new team, she suffered what doctors would call a mini-stroke, likely the result of a transient ischemic attack potentially caused by a combination of her condition and having had COVID-19. The episode led to further testing and visits to cardiologists at the UAB hospital. There, the damage and condition of Nowakowski's heart was found to be worse than previously described during annual check-ups.

"After that mini-stroke happened, that's what really kicked everything off and it all happened pretty fast," she said.

Her heart had depreciated over recent years, and for the first time, the remedy brought to the forefront was complex open-heart surgery. Doctors allowed her to choose when to schedule the upcoming surgery, to which Nowakowski chose the summer following JSU's spring season.

She didn't immediately know that her freshman season would be delayed. McGinnis sat down with her and offered a redshirt year or even a medical redshirt the following season if needed but left the final call up to Nowakowski. Following a few months of deliberating, Nowakowski chose to redshirt the 2022 season.

For her, that meant simply not playing on game days. She was still a member of team and wasn't going to let anything seem different. Though sluggish, she still ran, lifted weights and practiced daily with the squad. The fatigue was obvious, as she frequently had to pause drills to collect a breath. For the team's athletic trainer, Reghan Humphreys, it was a constant process of staying vigilant to Nowakowski's whereabouts and condition during workouts.

The surgery date

Then came June 13, 2022, Nowakowski's surgery date. A specialized Ebstein anomaly surgical team awaited Nowakowski inside one of the Mayo Clinic's surgical units. The surgery could take up to eight hours, however this veteran team that had been together for years handled the operation in less than three.

Nowakowski's mom worried at first when doctors appeared so quickly to brief the family on the operation. In addition to fixing and saving her tricuspid valve that can require replacing in some instances, the surgical team also repaired a hole in her heart between the two atriums. Due to years of blood not properly flowing from chamber to chamber within the heart, backwash, or backflow of blood, had caused the right side of her heart to swell to the point of needing to shave off some of the muscle on top that formed from inefficiency.

Similarly, extreme swelling caused muscle on the bottom of the heart to stretch so thin it was described as a "stress toy" and needed folding over to strengthen that part of the heart's wall.

Following the surgery, Nowakowski spent another week in the hospital before being released for the long ride back to Alabama. Another few weeks passed, and she slowly began rehab, which consisted of easy body movements and bike sessions to raise the heart rate, but not beyond a desired limit. By August, she was back at school able to do most non-strenuous activities, avoiding lifting weights since her sternum, broken for surgery, was still healing. Once September rolled around, she got the green light to go play, lift, dive … anything.

On the advice of Jax State assistant coach Julie Boland, Nowakowski turned to Matthew Wilson, Ph.D., a sport psychologist with Wilson Sports Psychology. With Wilson, who works closely with JSU and several of its athletes, Nowakowski began the process of breaking down new mental barriers.

"When you think, my body would’ve given out by this point, but now, my body's nowhere near giving out," she said. "Your worst enemy is your mind. You have to get over that stuff to grow. It was really fun to do actually, seeing how far I could push myself, and seeing how much I could grow as an athlete without something physical in my way, at that point it's all mental."

Jacksonville State's Morgan Nowakowski waits on the pitch from Georgia State's Doolittle on Wednesday, March 29, 2023.

Healthy and thriving

Steadily growing stronger, Nowakowski eagerly awaited her delayed Gamecock debut in 2023. Scheduled to open the season at a tournament at Mercer University in Macomb, Ga., heavy rain in the weekend forecast split the tournament field in half with several teams returning to Jacksonville to play at the Gamecocks’ all-turf stadium.

Nowakowski went straight into the starting lineup in the opener Feb. 10 against Army. All those years after that initial youth camp, and after every obstacle she had to overcome, Nowakowski was finally playing as a Gamecock. She started in left field and move to right in the middle of the contest. Although not registering a hit, she drew a walk and came around to score as JSU beat the Black Knights 7-2.

It was only the beginning of Nowakowski's comeback story.

Sharing an outfield with two accomplished seniors, Lauren Hunt and Sidney Wagnon, the kid who just wanted to play for JSU since she was little didn't just survive but thrived. She made 42 starts and played in 45 of JSU's 53 total games. Between turning double plays against Auburn by throwing out tagging runners or making highlight-reel diving catches against Georgia Tech, Nowakowski proceeded to hit .319 and draw 20 walks for an impressive .423 on-base percentage. Because she had redshirted the previous year, she had preserved her freshman status athletically, and the rest of the league took notice of Nowakowski. At the end of the year, she landed on the ASUN's All-Freshman team.

"Coming back and being able to play, and basically being able to live this new life … people always say you become so much more appreciative and grateful, and I know it sounds cheesy, but it really is true," she said. "I just wanted to go out there and have fun because a year ago I didn't know if I was ever going to play softball again. So, being able to have a good season didn't really matter just because I was able to play with the team that I loved, and I enjoyed every minute I got to spend on the field."

Nowakowski was healthy and happy, and the Gamecocks were near the top of the ASUN standings setting their sights on another NCAA postseason run. All seemed good, until it wasn't.

Dealing with team tragedy

The team bus pulled away from Jana McGinnis Field for the final weekend series of the regular season May 4 with one piece missing, McGinnis herself. The Gamecock leader and captain of a program that's far more like a family than a team, remained behind to be with her family.

McGinnis’ oldest daughter, Kinsey Lane, was hospitalized. She had a rare condition of her own called Lissencephaly, a brain malformation. Life expectancy is not great for children born with Lissencephaly. McGinnis and her husband, Russ, were told one year at Kinsey's birth. One year became two, then five, and from there doctors told the family they were unsure.

Kinsey, arguably the strongest fighter in JSU's program, was 26. She passed away May 7, the only day the Gamecocks were home between their final road trip and heading off for the ASUN Conference tournament in DeLand, Fla.

Devastated, the team hit the road again by bus the following day en route to Florida. Somberness and reflection filled the air instead of tournament excitement and anticipation.

Without McGinnis aboard, assistant coaches-turned-counselors Julie Boland and Holli Mitchell, diligently kept JSU players engaged and focused. From a hotel conference room, the Gamecocks video streamed Kinsey's Celebration of Life ceremony from back home in Jacksonville on Tuesday night.

Storybook moment

On Wednesday morning, emotions still loomed heavy as the Gamecocks suited up for a 10 a.m. contest against Austin Peay to begin their tournament run. Blue and purple ribbons for Kinsey flowed with the hair and over the backs of each player, including Nowakowski, who understood as well as anyone the sincere appreciation for every day you get with your family.

The Governors scored in the first and third inning to lead JSU early. While focusing on the task at hand, the absence of McGinnis echoed a reverberating reminder of a much larger picture. The Gamecocks scored three runs in the fourth inning to finally stake a lead for the first time, but Austin Peay answered in the fifth to tie the game once more. In the sixth, Emma Jones and Hunt led off with hits, and the Gamecocks managed to inch back ahead 5-4 on an RBI single from Lindsey Richardson. JSU was on the cusp of breaking through, not just winning a game but beginning to heal.

As Nowakowski emerged from the dugout for practice swings, senior Brantly Bonds watched ball four sail by and trotted off to first to load the bases.

"I talk to myself sometimes before I'm at bat and when you love softball so much, you feel it in your entire being, and it comes out being competitive and the love for the sport," Nowakowski said. "So, when I went up to that at bat, I told myself that I would fight like Kinsey, and I would fight for this team, and I would fight for these coaches that took a shot on me."

The girl who wanted nothing more than to play for JSU and fought to earn her spot not once, but twice, now peered out from under the brim of her white batter's helmet toward the pitching circle. Beneath the "Gamecocks" sprawled across her red jersey hid a scar that showed just how much she was willing to fight.

With her first swing, the ball soared off the bat, rocketing over the right field fence. A grand slam. It was the first of Nowakowski's college career, and only her third hit to clear the fence all season.

"It was one of those hits that you knew it was out as soon as you hit it," she said. "I told Coach Julie, I was like, ‘I don't even remember rounding or touching any of the bases.’ I don't even remember it, it felt like a dream.

"I mean, it really did and at that point it was about what our team had worked for all this year, because I would never be able to hit that grand slam if the three people ahead of me didn't get on. So, it was a whole team effort and it was amazing and beautiful and it was just fun."

Fun. One of the few emotions lacking in JSU's arsenal over the prior week was finally back. It was a reminder that good times would come again, and better days still lie ahead. All wounds eventually heal, some just leave scars.

As Nowakowski crossed home plate, JSU saw its lead jump to 9-4. The Gamecocks eventually won 10-4, the second-largest margin of victory in the tournament. Punctuating a storybook comeback, she joined Richardson on the ASUN all-tournament team for her spectacular week that involved more than just that one hit.

June 13 will mark one year since Nowakowski's surgery. She may do something to celebrate the anniversary, or she may just toss around a softball for a bit. After all, it's a beautiful game, and one she feels blessed every day to get to play.